Recently, I have been receiving a lot of phone calls asking for more detail on what I provide as a service. As I anticipated, there are so many people in their later senior years living in The Villages and surrounding areas, such as Del Webb and Spruce Creek that have no nearby family members to help them with day to day needs or transitional planning.
I am going to share with you some of the client profiles of those I have worked with.
“Lucy” is in her mid-90’s. Her children do not live close by and they hired me to visit Lucy every week to ensure she is doing well, has food, is in good health, and has someone to actually see her in person and report back any concerns. While Lucy is independent, enjoying some of the recreation The Villages has to offer and lives independently in her own home, there were some concerns about memory loss.
While Lucy’s daily functioning is impressive, being of her age, it was not surprising to experience the repetitive reminiscing that is so important for her. Weekly, the stories are exactly the same, with no recall of sharing them the week before. Aside from this, and occasionally forgetting where something is such as her purse, Lucy is incredible. Her intelligence shows through on many levels, and previously in her career, held a high powered position in government. Had she not been as sharp in her career as she was, she might not be able to hide her memory issues as well as she does.
I was visiting Lucy once a week, checking on her, having conversation, going to specialist appointments, out to lunch, and providing a listening ear so she could talk. However, recently, as an outcome of some of the specialist visits, Lucy received a diagnosis of moderate Alzheimer’s. While no one in the family was terribly surprised, it was still upsetting for the children to hear the diagnosis formally and the additional planning concerns that come along with that.
The family has now engaged me to see Lucy a minimum of three times a week and more as I deem needed. The goal is to support her to stay in her own home as long as possible; supporting her independence and enjoyment of the activities she loves in The Villages. She also wants to stay in her own place, she loves it, she maintains it, and she manages the day to day admirably. I have increased my services now to doing more driving, taking her shopping, doing meal planning, organizing her bills, banking, overseeing services such as landscaping, and doing all the things a daughter or son would do if they lived close by. In the near future, I will be hiring a driver to take her to activities.
While none of these chores on their own are stressful, the fulfillment of these services gives peace of mind to the family who cannot be here and takes worry away from the client. My phone number is on Lucy’s kitchen counter and in her purse, so she has someone 24 hours a day she can call if she has a need or emergency. I speak to the family weekly and give them updates on how their mom is doing. I am also a person they can talk to about their concerns and know that any requests they have will be addressed.
Another set of clients I had was “Rudy and Sarah.” Sarah was struggling because her husband, who has Parkinson ’s disease, was having more challenges in the home environment and Sarah was physically struggling to be of assistance with these greater needs of personal care Rudy was having, and emotionally she was feeling isolated and exhausted. With no time to do anything on her own, and feeling overwhelmed at the constant attention and care her spouse was requiring, they together discussed him moving to an Assisted Living community where Sarah would be able to visit him daily but where the care provided would relieve her of the difficulties she was facing in her senior years of caring for someone who was frail and needing more and more one to one assistance.
Sarah and I had many conversations about local assisted living communities in the area, although she already had one in mind that she had visited and was considering. We discussed the longer term needs that might present with her husband, and which assisted livings would be equipped to provide the higher level of service which would be eventually required. We also discussed costs, long term care policies, and other possible options aside from assisted living.
Together, the three of us visited the Assisted Living that Sarah had already considered. We wanted Rudy to have a tour of the place, see what his apartment would look like, have a meal to taste the quality of the food, and meet the nurse for an assessment of what type of care they could provide. The end result was that Rudy moved in and is enjoying the range of activities and entertainment offered, and Sarah is feeling refreshed and able to enjoy visiting with Rudy and knowing all his needs are being met.
Another client, “George”, who is on the horizon but who I am engaged in conversation now, is a single gentleman in his early 80’s who is living very independently in his own home, playing golf, driving, playing musical instruments and enjoying his life. He has absolutely no needs for assistance. However, he is planning within the next half a year or so in selling his home and moving into independent living so he has less worries about should something happen to him as he ages. If he did not plan, he would then have to make last minute decisions. Instead, he is planning to be proactive and to move to a place where meals are provided and there are options for increased care as he may need it.
What George called me about was his desire to discuss transition when the time comes. He wants to prepare now for how things will happen when he is ready to move. I met with George and he showed me his home and garage so I could get an idea about what we would need to do to downsize. We looked at the apartment schematic. George wants me to assist him in his full transition. We will decide what he is taking with him to his new place and what he wants to get rid of. He wants me to organize the sale of everything he does not want. He also wants me to organize his new apartment and go shopping with him to choose furniture and décor. He wants me to arrange the movers and setting up the new apartment. His wish is to be able to sell his home and move in to the new place all ready furnished and setup. So when the time comes, I will be there every step of the way leading the transition process and taking this burden he does not want to deal with away from him. I will even help sell cars and golf carts.
You can see “The Other Daughter” does everything a daughter (or son) would do for their parent if they lived close by and were able to do so. The availability of my services takes away the stress that family members feel when they do not know what is going on with their parent or how to help from a distance. It also allows the parent to have someone they can trust, who visits regularly, or who they can call in an emergency. Knowing someone is looking after details, or organizing care, or ensuring there is food in the fridge, is such a relief for an elder and their extended family.
If you or your loved one needs any of these services, please contact Jane Bloom, The Other Daughter, 425 299 6020 or email janeinthevillages@gmail.com For information on my background and business, visit my website at www.theotherdaughter.org
