My last rendering explained why a good tasting food should be called a doughnut and not a donut. For those who came in late it is because the product is made from “dough” and not “do” which is a minor musical term used before re, me etc. It has nothing to do with the product. I was intending to move on to more provocative work, when I received a complaint from a gentlemen that my article was “half-baked” because I did not explain the “nut” part of doughnut.
I was a little astounded that it came from this particular gentleman as he is one of my literary idols. He is an author of a couple of spy novels and some novellas on life in Philadelphia. Writing about the latter is particularly difficult, so I have always considered him to be one of the best writers – right up there with Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster (creators of Superman). Since he is a literary icon, I would have thought that he would have done some research on his own about the matter. I guess that he is too busy on his next spy novel, so I will explain the “nut” portion of doughnut.
You have to remember that names quite often evolve. There was not a genius who happened to drop some dough into hot grease and then cried, “Eureka I have invented the doughnut.” It was a process that started when a baker dropped some dough into his simmering soup. When he ate the soup he saw the dough, he tasted it and noted that he thought it was pretty good. He made some the next day for sale. However, customers said “Yuck, this tastes like chicken soup”.
The baker thought some more about it, and said to himself, if I flavor the dough and cook it in hot grease, perhaps people will like it. He did and people did love it. He was not a creative person, so he simply called it “flavored dough”. Other bakers soon started making it and also called it flavored dough. It went under that name for many years. Then one day in London town, a baker’s biggest customer came in and ordered some flavored dough to take out. His name was Henry Marlowe and he was the great grandson of Christopher Marlowe who many people think wrote Shakespeare’s plays. I don’t know whether Chris did or not, but that is not the point of this article.
Henry who was a thinker said to the baker, “Flavored dough is a dumb name. For marketing purposes, we should come up with a better name”. He puzzled about the matter until his puzzler was sore, and then he exclaimed, “I have it”. He explained to the baker that he was nuts about the product and so were his friends. Thus, he declared that it should be known as a “doughnut”. The baker, thought that was a pretty stupid name too, but since Marlowe was his best customer he kept quiet.
Marlowe left all excited and told the baker he would have a sign made for him, and all the baker had to do was to him give two of his best doughnuts (the new name). The next day he returned with a richly engraved sign that said “Duncan’s Doughnuts”. The baker was Vladimir Duncan. In case you are wondering about the first name, his mother had been an unwilling mistress of the Russian Czar who escaped to England. That ticked off the Czar so the English put her in the witness protection plan.
A couple of days after the sign was put up, Marlowe came back and found the baker looking at the sign in sorrow. He saw Marlowe and told him that a drunken soldier had shot a hole right through the center of the sign. Marlowe puzzled some more, and opined “this can be a great marketing tool. Put holes in your doughnuts”. He went on to explain that since paper bags had not been invented yet, he should get some sticks. Then when customers wanted to take home a number of doughnuts, they could slip them over the stick.
The salient point is that the doughnuts then sold like bangers and mash. He did so well that before long there were Duncan’s Doughnut signs all over merry old England. He did so well that he became rich and famous and was knighted by the Queen. Marlowe on the other hand ran through the rest of his great grandfather’s fortune and ended up homeless and living under the London Bridge (luckily it did not fall down while he was under it).
Now you have the rest of the story.
Villager Barry Evans writes about life in The Villages.
