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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Husbands United – An issue

Barry Evans
Barry Evans

At meetings of Husbands United (a secret society), we have become very adept at solving issues for the benefit of mankind that have been raised by womankind.  This is not to say that we have as yet solved all issues –mainly because womankind keeps presenting new ones.  The hardest ones are when a member of mankind is moving along in step with the universe when, BAM!, there is an issue coming out of left field that not even Roberto Clemente could have thrown out.

Once the member of mankind finally understands the enormity of what he has done and is able to make a meeting of Husbands United, we can usually sort it out.  However, I have to admit that so far we have become stymied on developing the universal antidote for such problems.  It would be great if we could since it would save a lot of time at the meetings, and we could discuss more enlightening issues like which NFL team had the best draft.  Over the years we have even written to Presidents to ask if the Federal government couldn’t do some research on the issue.  So far, we have been told that there is a better chance of solving the N. Korea problem than coming up with such a universal antidote.

I realize that there are people who do not understand the fact that the mysterious distaff mind has caused great pain and anguish to members of mankind over eons.  The ones that come out of the blue are the least comprehended by mankind.  Those who not even understand the need for a universal antidote generally are not married, engaged, dating or whatever and instead are manning a telescope by themselves on an uninhabited island.  Thus, for those kind of people I will give an illustration.

This one occurred in our house the other day when I woke up contemplating playing some golf that morning.  The Blonde in the house also awoke and glared at me.  Apparently, she had been having a very vivid dream in which we were buying a new car.  It seems that the car was a very attractive off-white.  However, I had recalled that our first new car, a Rambler American, had had a continental tire kit on it so I had one put on the new off white car.  The problem as far as she was concerned was that the continental tire kit I had put on was lime green.  She was very very angry about that and said in her dream that she would not sign the buyer’s agreement.  However, I did!

I, of course, recognized immediately that I was responsible for this dream.  This is just an example (and perhaps not the best one of an out of the blue issue), but it illustrates the point.  In this case, it was not necessary to take the matter to Husbands United since I am the expert emeritus there, and I was able to solve the problem with some comforting words and a cup of coffee.  For example, I explained that if I were to put a continental tire kit on a new car, I would certainly not use lime green.  Rather, I would use a soothing color like racing green.

Now, I have to figure out how she knew I was looking at new cars.

Barry Evans writes about Life in The Villages for Villages-News.com

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