The other day, I was sitting around minding my own business when it was thrust upon me that I needed to have an Enneagram done. My hearing is not what it used to be, and I thought I was being told to take an enema which is a gross thing. I knew I did not need one and hope never to have the need. After calming me down, The Blonde in the house said that she was speaking of an Enneagram which is a personality test. Apparently folks think I have one, they just don’t know what kind. Therefore, if I took the test it would be a kindness to all who know me. Besides it would keep me busy while she made dinner. She had already taken the test herself, and we could compare our official personalities once I had completed mine.
I glanced over the material and determined that I had used my time on worse things. Thus, I went through the test and selected the answer that applied to me on each question. When I finished, I clicked on the result with the thought that after dinner the Blonde and I could compare personalities. Regrettably, there was a glitch. It seems that old Enneagram could not tell which of the nine allotted personalities I was. I thought that the test had taken care of such a possibility when the directions indicated that the test result would also give a wing number. That is, another of the personalities that complimented the main one. However, in my case there was no solid determination as to which the primary was and which the wing was.
My initial concern was that I had a split personality and with two involved I was getting pretty close to the “Three Faces of Eve”. Naturally, I did not want that to be my lot. Besides they had already made a movie about someone with three personalities. I hastened back to the directions and noted that there were two tests involved and either one would show my personality. I looked at the second test which indicated that the questions were asked differently. I immediately took the second test with the hope that I could determine my personality so that I would know how to act in proper company. Sure enough this test came up with just one personality trait that was dominant with a minor wing.
The problem was that it was a completely different personality than the other two. Yipe, I was now up to three personalities with possibly a fourth when you considered the new wing. I was in a quandary as to what to do about the situation. I have written a couple of radio shows for the Old Time Radio Club so I thought that perhaps I could do one entitled “The 3.5 Faces of Ed” (I wouldn’t want to use my own name there). However, the head guy of The Old Time Radio Club (whose name is Ed) said he did not think he could use it – ever!
Consequently, I did the only sensible thing. I denied ever taking the Enneagram test, and noted that if I had, it was one of my minor personalities fooling around so the results had no value.
Everybody is just going to have to put up with the personality that I have used all these years. It could probably be better, but it is comfortable and I am used to it!
Barry Evans writes about Life in The Villages for Villages-News.com
