I had an unusual experience the past couple of days as two people I know were clamoring to be in my column. Now I try never to mention names in what I write. I don’t have the proper insurance coverage to start with so I just mosey along without names. Still some people think I am writing about them. That’s not so, usually, but still I get looked at funny. In this case, however, they both wanted me to write about them.
I finally decided to humor them although without names. However, I imagine that somebody will figure it out – and then he/she will want me to write about him/her. The first is the world’s most sublime landlady. Someone has to be the most sublime so why not her. She is honest, jolly, generous, compassionate, a great handyperson and very smart. As to the last item, she is so smart that she figured out immediately that I didn’t know one end of screwdriver from the backend of a hammer. This worked to my advantage as things got done around the house much faster than when I was responsible. The Blond in the house can vouch for that. She even put in a new garbage disposal. Lord knows what would have happened if I had attempted such a project. I did get her one time. She said I don’t suppose you have a measuring tape? Well, I did. Her mouth dropped wide open in shocked disbelief. I didn’t tell her that it was really The Blond’s! Yep, no question, but the World’s Most Sublime Landlady lives right here in The Villages!
The second person clamoring to be in the column came to my attention as I was wending my way to a seat with some other golfers at Glenview. He was telling me and was gesturing about why he should be in my column. He had two friends with him who couldn’t figure out who the heck I was and why my friend wanted to be in the column. He claimed that he needed the publicity. This I doubt! He and I played on a number of softball teams together. He could power that ball, and I believe he got more guys to switch from third to second that anybody in the league. His real claim to fame was that he was a singing plumber with a most powerful voice. I recall one time The Blond and I were at an Italian restaurant with some friends. We had our back to the band and we were all chattering away, when boom this singing voice came ringing through out the restaurant stopping the chattering and the eating. He lived up to his singing plumber reputation as one of the band members was making sounds with a plunger. Alright, so I just made that up. However, he is a darn good singer!
I must make it clear right now that I am not starting a trend by writing about diverse persons who live here. I won’t write about the softball player who was coaching third when a timeout was called. When the time out ended, he was standing on third base and tried to score when a batter hit the ball. Whew, talk about confusion! There was also the golfer friend who blasted the ball from our tee over the width of the adjoining fairway and hit a starter’s shack which was perched on a hill. It was most likely his longest drive ever. No sir, I am not going to talk about any dull folks like that.
I am open to persuasion though!
Villager Barry Evans writes a weekly column which appears in Villages-News.com.