Sunday, February 21, 2021
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The Villages

Spousal anniversaries require a remembrance gift 

Barry Evans
Barry Evans

I believe that it is fairly noticeable that once a year the anniversary of a person’s date of birth occurs – except for those who have a leap year problem. The latter have to deal with that in their own way.  In any case, the anniversaries keep coming.  This is also true of The Blond in the House who had another anniversary on February 11.  Such spousal anniversaries usually – OK, for a harmonious life – require a remembrance gift.  This year my delightful spouse indicated that she would not mind having a new purse. I thought about that for quite a bit as I could see some problems in selecting an appropriate one.

I tried to recall what I had selected for past birth anniversaries and did not recall any that were a particular problem.  For example, there was the year that she said that she would like to have a big electric blower to get rid of leaves.  That certainly did not require a great effort.  I just hopped down to the Sears store (there were a lot of them then) and selected the prettiest one I could find.  Then there was the time I went into a jewelry store to replace a watch battery and saw a grandfather clock at a reasonable price.  I was quite aware that she was and is very fond of clocks so I purchased it.  The jeweler delivered it, and told me later that he had never seen anybody so excited in his life.  That gift was one that resulted in a couple of rhubarb pies.

However, a purse is a horse of a different color.  Luckily, I remembered that a meeting of Husbands United (a secret society) was coming up. I knew that I would get some great advice there.  Ha!  All I got was “Hoo Boy!”. “Better you than me”, “Jewelry is always good”, and other useless advice.  It turned out that none of them had the foggiest idea how to pick out a purse for a wife – or any woman.  What good is a quality organization like Husbands United, if they can’t help out a guy on a simple matter.  I was so disgusted that if I weren’t the High Exalted Husband of the organization, I would have resigned.

Thus, I took the next step and went to the omnipresent store on the internet since they have everything.  I assumed that I could pick one from their assembled list. Do you have any idea how many possible purses for women there are?

I tell you they run seemingly forever. The odd part is that they are all perfect for the discriminating lady. Each one of them has the necessary pockets of the right size, zippers that will last not only the lifetime of the person receiving the purse, but for several generations thereafter. Then, there is the material, inside and outside!  You could not find a tougher, soft feeling fiber even if you went to a market in Turkey or ancient Persia. 

Clearly, this was a conundrum of a nature that I had not faced before.  I was getting desperate when I noticed that each purse had reviews.  I looked and finally noticed one that over 2900 reviews the vast majority of which were favorable.  I figured that if 2900 hundred ladies took the time to respond that this particular purse must have some merit. So, I took the coward’s way out and ordered that one. I would ask you to wish me luck, but by the time you read this, she will have opened it.

Maybe you could wish me luck anyhow!

Barry Evans is a columnist for Villages-News.com.

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