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The Villages
Saturday, May 8, 2021

Your own life story

Barry Evans
Barry Evans

The Blonde in the House purchased a book on how to write your own life story some time ago. I noticed that she had taken it out the other day, so perhaps she is getting ready to prepare a book for all the future Evans’ and their associated families.  I just hope that she finishes it while I am still around.  I want to see how I come out! Since the vast majority of her life has been spent around me, she most likely has a plethora of information where I am involved.  The question is which will she use.  That’s why I need to hang around. Nobody wants to leave this world with a book like that on the horizon.

I could probably write my own book, but I already know most of the story – and what I don’t know I probably wouldn’t be able to include.  I mean that obviously I have to be alive and “with it” in order to complete the book.  However, no matter how hard one tries there will be something at the end that can’t be included.  For example, in my case I have always wanted to visit Iceland.  If I did, then a volcano would probably erupt under my feet and I wouldn’t be around to include it in my life story. That would be a darn shame as it would probably have been the most interesting aspect of my book.

As I am typing this, I just heard on the TV news that one of our famous magazines of the day, which hardly anybody subscribes to any more, has an article on how to protect the environment.  In this case the protection is a suggestion that people shouldn’t have kids anymore.  Now if that is going to happen, then that is another reason not to write my life story since there will be no one around to read it – at least until the Planet of the Apes evolves. Actually, knowing people there is a pretty good chance that some kids will most likely pop up anyhow even if it is not politically correct.  So that is not an excuse for anybody to not write their life story.

It has taken a while but I am now getting to the point which is that I believe everybody should write their life story. If everyone did, think how busy that would make the publishers. They would need to go on a hiring spree unlike the world has ever seen. They would need editors, reviewers, employees to run the presses, delivery drivers, and even teachers. Obviously, some of the world’s population are not ready to write their life stories. Therefore, teachers would have to spread all over the world and teach them to read and write.  The whole situation would abolish unemployment everywhere!

Folks would then become wealthy and want new houses, cars, TV’s, computers. furniture, new clothes etc.  The factories to supply all this would be humming.  The house builders would be straining to meet the demand, clothes designers would be in their glory.  The entertainment industry would be ecstatic!  Life would be great – and all it takes is for everybody to write their own life story. I wonder why none of the politicians have thought of this idea.  Naturally, if it happens, there will be many politicians who will claim they had the idea first.

Unsurprisingly none of this affects the fact that I still will want to know how I come out in The Blonde’s book!

Columnist Barry Evans is a resident of The Villages.

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