By Jane Bloom
The songs at Christmas bring up memories and emotions for people, even if your special holiday at this season is of a different faith or culture. The music, the television and movies, the shopping, the overall festivities which take place every year, remind us of the past; of family and friends and time together enjoying parties, holiday dinners, and good cheer.
Memories can be a wonderful reminiscing experience, but at this time of year, memories can also bring on depression, sadness, and loneliness for those who find themselves lacking a Christmas card moment. For seniors, they may have lost their spouse; their children may live far away and not be able to visit; friends may be away celebrating with their own families; or illness may have overtaken someone and they are housebound or in hospital.
Even those of us with family and friends close by can have the holiday season dampened by events which come without timing and respect to the season of joy. My husband and I had to put one of our dogs to sleep this past Sunday before Christmas, our lovely 10 1/2 year old Irish Setter, Reilly. Our plan was to celebrate Christmas dinner on Sunday because we would not be together on Christmas Day. However, that was not to be, because the experience of this unexpected loss was too overwhelming to have a celebratory occasion on the same day. This will now be an annual memory at this time of year, and while the sadness and loss will be less profound, it is an example of how the holidays can bring up other memories and emotions that are not all focused on the expected cheer and joy that we have pictures of.
I asked a man I greatly admire, Pastor Jim Divine, Lake Deaton Campus Pastor for the New Covenant United Methodist Church, to offer some words of wisdom for those who may be challenged in finding joy and feeling the warmth of this Christmas season. Pastor Divine has been involved in ministry for 21 years and has worked for much of his ministry in starting new churches. He can be reached at 352-750-4529 or [email protected] He would also like to invite you to attend new services that will be starting up in February at the Eisenhower Recreation Center, please email him for details.
Pastor Divine shares his story and his experience at finding the heart of the holidays when he found himself alone and in a new place at Christmas time. Pastor Diving writes:
Every year, starting at Thanksgiving weekend, I begin the tradition of attempting to watch my entire Christmas movie collection (which, as of this article, includes over twenty-five movies). One of my favorites is the classic “Christmas Vacation” staring Chevy Chase as the eternally optimistic Clark Griswold. What I like best about Christmas Vacation is that Griswold sets out to produce the perfect Christmas, but inevitably ends up turning every situation into a total disaster.
For years, I, like Clark Griswold, tried to create the perfect Christmas. I would frantically work for over a month to make sure everything was perfect for my church family as well as my wife and children.
It was Christmas 1998 when I learned that some things happen that you just can’t make right when it comes to the Holidays. It was that year, on Dec. 24 that my granddad passed away. That Christmas I learned that the Holidays are not always great and perfect for everyone. My eyes opened, I learned that there are many people in the world for whom the Holidays are a hard time. Maybe you’re in a financially tight year and can’t do what you want for lack of resources; maybe you’re far from friends and family, and find yourself alone; or maybe, like my family, you lost a loved one over the past year. Whatever the circumstance surrounding it, there is still hope for your holiday season.
One of my favorite stories is the Christmas Story, the birth of Jesus. Mary and Joseph were certainly not having a great Christmas. They were forced to make a difficult ten-day journey when Mary was nine months pregnant. Once in Bethlehem, Mary went into labor but they could not find a place to stay. Finally, they found themselves in a barn giving birth to Jesus. I don’t know if Mary and Joseph thought about it on that first Christmas, but it was foretold centuries before, “Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel, which means ‘God is with us.’” (Matthew 1:23, NLT) The power of this simple statement is the declaration that we are not alone! Whatever you may be experiencing, simply knowing that “God is with us” can grant tremendous comfort, especially during the holidays. With this ideal to rest upon, there are still practical things we can do to carry us through the holiday season.
I have found that during tough years I am able to find joy and hope when I work to give myself away. Here are a few of the things I have done to brighten up hard years:
• Visit a lonely neighbor. Several years ago, when forced to be away from family for the holidays, I realized that around me were several others who were also alone. I was able to find great comfort when I reached out and connected with a new friend.
• Spend time looking back through photo albums. This can be painful, but I have also found it to be quite joyful. We like to sit with my mom and look through old family albums and tell the stories of Christmas’ past, and in doing so we experience the blessings of our lost loved ones again.
• Find a place to serve others. We have spent a couple Christmas’ (and Thanksgivings) working at a local soup kitchen serving meals. This helps us to keep our eyes focused on what is really important.
Wherever you find yourself this Christmas I hope that you experience the true joy of the season.
To add to Pastor Divine’s suggestions, I would like to also offer a few ideas to help you help others.
• There are numerous assisted livings and long term care and hospice communities where people would love to have a visitor to share a cup of tea with and talk about the holidays. Share your stories and let them share theirs. It is a great way to connect and also enjoy memories in a positive way.
• Assert yourself, talk to a neighbor or friend and ask what they are doing for the holidays. You may find you get a scrumptious invite for a festive dinner!
• Volunteer at an animal shelter and bring some treats with you. The love and response you will get from your new furry friends will change your mood to joy.
• Go to a local coffee shop that is open. You will find others who are on their own and who would love to talk over a hot cup of peppermint mocha!
• Drop in at a church or synagogue and take part in the services. You will have an instant group of people who will invite you in and take interest in who you are and how you can participate. You can call Pastor Jim, he will be happy to invite you to join in!
Merry Christmas everyone, Happy Holidays, Joy to you as the New Year falls upon us and may all of you be well, find peace and love in your home and community, and reach out to others who need you as much as you need them. Blessings to you all.
Villager Jane Bloom, owner of The Other Daughter www.theotherdaughter.org For questions or comments, please call or email Jane at 425 299 6020 or [email protected]