I wrote an “Ode” once. Possibly it was not the world’s best, but have you ever tried to write an ode. Actually, I should not bear the entire burden as I took the end of one of Robert Service’s poems and created an ode from it. Old Robert is my very favorite poet. He wrote things like The Shooting of Dangerous Dan McGrew, and The Cremation of Sam McGee. In other words lots of classy stuff!
Mine was an ode to my wife. I will most likely end this column with it so that you do not go to bed wondering what the heck I wrote. Then again, I might not. It will depend how I feel when I get there. I am getting a little astray as the point that I wanted to make is that every mankind person should write an ode about his favorite member of womankind.
This is just one ode now; do not write for more than one member of womankind.
If despite this warning, you become inclined to write a second one – or even more, make darn certain that they are at least different. We know what a member of womankind scorned is like. This could be just as bad if the said members find out that they are not only the recipient of an ode from the same mankind person, but it is the same ode – well even Husbands United (a secret society) would have a hard time resolving that issue.
The most impelling fact is that if an ode is written to the proper womankind person, you can gain all sorts of points. You can probably pick up some more golf time at least. If it is a really good one, you can probably play golf even when her Aunt Pearl comes for her yearly month long visit. You do want to play lots of golf then, do you not? I know one gentleman whose ode was so good that there was an agreement not to go on a cruise that year.
True that is an exceptional result, but one will never know what can be accomplished if an effort is not made. Just remember that an ode is simply “a lyric poem full of noble or enthusiastic feeling expressed with dignity”. I recognize that “noble” thoughts are not too prevalent anymore, but anyone should be able to become “enthusiastic” when writing an ode to your favorite womankind member.
I have decided to include my ode. Please note that I even have some noble sentiments.
An Ode to My Wife
Said Barry R. Evans unto his proud Papa:
“I want to take a wife my pop” Papa laughed “Ha Has”
And whose, my son” he slyly said, but I with a frown,
Cried: “My Pop, I mean – – to wed. I want to settle down”
My father responded with a smile;
“You’re young, my boy; I much prefer that you wait awhile.”
But I sighed: “I cannot wait, for I am twenty four;
And I have met my wonderful fate: I worship, I adore.
Such beauty, grace and charm has she, I am sure you will approve,
For if I live a century none other can I love.”
“I have no doubt”, my father shrugged, “that she’s a proper gal;
But is she one who can also be a pal”
When her name I stated, he said, “Ho, of her all are fond,
For everyone knows that there is none better than,
The Blonde!”
See, I told you!