The other day one of my friends mentioned that I write about numerous things, but I never write about garbage. At least I think that is what he said, but with my hearing being what it is, he could have commented that I write a lot of garbage. However, I like to believe the best in people so I am assuming that he meant that I should write about garbage. Why not, everybody has some. In fact, one good thing about it is if you have too much, no one becomes envious. In fact, if you don’t get rid of it, folks may make uncomplimentary comments about you.
I will have to admit that I have never been that fond of the product, but I have been responsible for making certain that it disappears from our household. The Blonde in the House made an early determination that garbage removal was one of my duties. It is true that getting rid of it can be messy especially if the bag rips – or if you have a bag outside and the raccoons or crows slash it open. Most of the time though it is bag and drag (we often have some pretty heavy garbage) to the front yard. That is if you don’t live in an apartment complex. I became used to just sitting it at the end of the driveway, and we usually had a short driveway. Now I have to drag it miles down a hallway. OK, not really miles, but certainly further than I like to drag (or carry) garbage.
It is not too bad, if you don’t meet anyone unless it is another guy dragging his garbage. Usually though, it is someone in a hurry to get someplace nice and are not happy to see a garbage man – or sanitary engineer as they call such folks in some places. The latter term was used in different communities to make the dispensers of garbage feel better without increasing their pay. Then, there is always the chance that you will run into a nice person with their dog. We have lots of dogs where we live now. Luckily, the vast majority of them are small and are a little wary of a large garbage bag. There is one very nice big dog, but he lives on the first floor and I don’t drag my garbage on that floor. I am not certain how the first-floor draggers fare in their race to the trash room.
My primary view of garbage is that it gives lots of work to people, not only today but even in the far future which is good for both economies. I would imagine a few hundred years or more down the road that archeologists will be digging into big hills to find treasurers of the ancient civilization known as America. They will come from all over especially the moons of Jupiter and Saturn where people moved to get away from Earth which had deteriorated to the point that no one wanted to live here. In those areas by the way, they just transport their garbage to one of the big planet’s lesser moons. Then many more years in the future the garbage investigators will come from the Alpha Centauri area to learn about the Jupiter and Saturn folks who messed up the moons of those planets. Mankind is very messy and always will be.
I am certain that even the garbage found in what will be ancient America will be fascinating to those in the far future. They will be amazed at what they find and will try to figure out for what some of the items were used. Heck, we already have grandkids who do not know what a “church key” is. They will probably assume that an ice pick was a dangerous weapon used in ancient rites. They might even find a deflated football with Pittsburgh Steelers written on it. Some guy or woman will probably write a doctorate thesis about the football and how it was used to steal things. It would be fascinating to be there when they find all the fabulous stuff in our garbage.
Thus, when you drag your garbage out, just smile and think how happy you will make people in the future!
Columnist Barry Evans writes about “Life in The Villages.”