“Here you go, sweetie,” I said to an older man in the post office the other day as I tried to hand him the role of Priority Mail tape I was using. He apparently was in a hurry and looked like he wanted to grab it from my hand. Expecting him to graciously take it from me, and possibly even say thank you, I was shocked when he abruptly snatched the tape dispenser from my hand and barked, “I’m not your sweetie!”
“Excuse me?” I replied, slightly taken back.
“I don’t find it appropriate you calling me sweetie! I am not your sweetie!” The older man grunted as he turned to look at his wife standing behind him. “You, little lady, need to find a new vernacular if you plan on surviving in this world,” he continued as though I was a young child, and he was somehow in charge of me.
Nevertheless, the whole time he was shouting at me simply for what I considered a kind gesture. I was doing everything I could to continue to be nice to this stranger. However, inside my head, the voices were screaming, “If I can’t call you sweetie, can I call you knucklehead?” (PG version) Yet, I did not. I held my tongue respectfully and simply said, “HEARD,” as I walked away.
By now, everyone in the room was looking at us to see what was going on. I’m sorry, but I pride myself on being a good-hearted, friendly person. I am respectful to my elders. I try to not say anything unless I have something nice to say, and I practice doing unto others as I would have done to me. I learned these three fundamental lessons in my lifetime, and I believe we all should have been taught them during grade school and childhood days, if not by retirement age!
What in this man’s life could possibly be so miserable? Why would he feel he has the right to harbor such hostility and negativity? Who convinced him that he was also allowed to fling that crap onto any and all happy passers-by? The one thing I am sure of is that he was put in my path to try and bring my UGLY out. The universe seemed to attempt to drain my positivity and help me forget all my hopes and dreams – just so I can be as grumpy and ungrateful as he is. Sorry, no can do. My happy tank has an overflow mechanism just for situations like this. It’s times like this when my buddies, the magical Pixies, show up and refill my happy reserve. This way, I can shield myself from the doom and gloom others spread while still allowing positive thoughts to get through.
Unintentionally, I connected with all the other poor souls who had to witness all this man’s unnecessary drama. Drama produced by one unfriendly, broken being. The employees, the other customers in line, and even the man’s wife seemed genuinely sympathetic and uncomfortable with the situation, which oddly only caused me to feel bad for him.
In my heart of hearts, I wanted to sit this knucklehead down and explain to him, like a child, right in front of his lovely wife, that he was in no means, my sweetie. “My sweetie, the guy I call my Big Ragu, is nothing like you. He is an Italian Stallion – tall, dark and handsome with the charismatic charm of a Casanova and the loyalty of a puppy. None of which is you, sir,” is what I wanted to say.
Again, I really was just trying to be friendly. You are a human being sharing Mother Earth with me. If we make eye contact while passing by each other, I will typically say “hello,” with a quick smile and a wave. Depending on my mood, I might even give you a wink and add, “Have a great day!”
Why? Because I live in Paradise, and I want to share warm fuzzies. Once upon a time, I was a little girl that dreamed about growing up and escaping the brutal winters of the Northeast. I wanted to grow old in a place where I could live a peaceful, happy life in warm weather and sunshine year-round. Now, celebrating 33 years as a transplant to the Sunshine State, how could this Jersey Girl not be happy to be alive? I have an on vacation, everyday lifestyle!
Yes, within the beauty of my own state, I can camp in the forest, swim with the dolphins, and watch mermaids perform in natural springs. Airboat through alligator habitats, ship off on sunset cruises and peacefully indulge in Florida’s many beautiful beaches. Whether I wake up early to catch the sunrise with my morning cup of coffee at the pool or sit on my patio hammock swing listening to the fountain in the lake in front of me as the sun sets, I know I am at one with my world. No matter where you are, there’s always something to be grateful for! A grateful person will always stay joyous.
If, by chance, any of this sounds familiar to you, tag! Now, pass it on! I am sending you an air high five. However, if all of this sounds like nonsense, I’m sending you an air high five plus an air hug because you obviously need help filling your “Happy Tank!”
It’s all good. I’m here for you, and so are all the other happy-go-lucky goofballs that continue to try and spread a little positive energy to all you grumpy-gusses. It’s not easy, but we are strong and relentless. Take warning! Be happy, or be miserable watching us be happy. Either way, we win!
Laugh on. Peace out!
Lisa DeMarco is a columnist for Villages-News.com.