There were a lot of dumb criminals to choose from in 2025, but the Villager who wears the crown for this past year was arrested after ruining cases of Spam and Vienna sausages after peeing on pallets of the products at Sam’s Club.
Patrick Francis Mitchell, 70, of the Village of Piedmont, fled the store in Lady Lake after urinating on the products, but the story eventually leaked out, inspiring headlines of mockery around the world. It was our No. 9 story for 2025.
A woman was in Sam’s Club on the morning of May 30 when the lady shopper spotted Mitchell “urinating in Aisle 18,” according to an affidavit of probable cause from the Lady Lake Police Department. The woman used her cell phone to take a photo of Mitchell and she showed the photo to store employees.
Sam’s Club employees reviewed the surveillance footage which clearly showed that Mitchell, “walked up to two pallets, facing the shelf, placed both hands in front of him below the belt line, and stood there for several seconds,” according to the affidavit, noting it was, “behavior consistent with urination.”
Managers inspected the damage to the 188 units of 18-count Vienna sausages and the 345 units of 8-count Spam Classic. They concluded that because the products had been contaminated with bodily fluid, they would need to be thrown out. Initially, the store employees calculated the loss of product at more than $10,000.
Mitchell used his Sam’s Club membership identification card when he entered the store. A detective from the police department used Mitchell’s Sam’s Club ID and matched it with the store surveillance imagery and ultimately Mitchell’s photograph on his Florida driver’s license. Mitchell was arrested on a warrant on June 3 by Marion County sheriff’s deputies at his home on SE 177th Winterthur Loop. His wife bailed him out of jail.
Mitchell eventually agreed to enter into a pre-trial intervention contract in Lake County Court. He was ordered to pay $8,000 in restitution and 20 hours of community service.