Ed and Ruth had been together for nine years. Ed had gone on a walking tour of the Balkans. It was a tour that he had arranged himself.
He was about to call it quits when he noticed that in the northeast corner of the Balkans there was a small enclave called Kitslavokia. He decided to visit it. He found it to be a pleasant area and the residents to be very friendly although the language was difficult to use.
It was here that he met Ruth. Ruth was a valued member of the Balinski family. Ed stayed for another week. Stuff happens and Ruth came back to the States with Ed. They had a nice life, except that Ruth insisted on using only the Kitslavokian language. That meant Ed had to do a lot of talking and explaining to those who wanted to talk to Ruth. Ed did not mind as he liked to talk. In fact, he was a big-time talker.
One day, Ed and Ruth were in the living room, with the screen door letting the cool air in as it was a pleasant fall day. They were waiting for a Steeler game to start – at least Ed was. All of a sudden, the screen door was ripped open and a man with a gun came storming in. He shouted for everyone to keep quiet or they would get shot. Just then, Ruth leapt at him. The gunman was so startled that he instinctively backed up, and tripped over a yellow rubber ducky that had somehow ended up in the house. The ducky let out a whistle sound which unnerved the gunman more. He ended up falling over a chair and hit his head on the floor.
Ed grabbed the gun, and called the police. When they arrived, and had handcuffed the man, Ed told them of Ruth’s move and that she had saved them. The police were impressed and told both of them that Ruth was a heroine. They said that they recognized the gunman immediately as they saw his face every day on the FBI’s list of ten most wanted bad guys. They warned Ed and Ruth that folks would want to talk to them both as the news got out.
Naturally, the news media showed up. Ed and Ruth ended up on the front page of the daily paper with following stories for days after. They also made TV and became known to a wider audience. Obviously, the politicians got involved as well. The mayor wanted to give a medal to the heroine, Ruth at city hall. Ed told them that the weather had turned too warm and that Ruth would not want to sit in the concrete area in front of City Hall. That didn’t present a problem as the mayor came to their house. He spent five minutes giving Ruth her medal, and then 25 minutes talking about the next election. He had an audience, so why not!
“Holy Moly” as Captain Marvel used to say. Gentle readers, I apologize profusely. But I was so intent on getting the facts straight that I now see that I didn’t mention one salient fact that some might find of interest.
That fact is that the heroine of the story, Ruth, was a cat!
Barry Evans is a columnist for Villages-News.com