At my postal station, the other day, I happened upon a few pages of copy paper on the ground, folded like ready to be put in an envelope. When I opened the pages I was shocked, but mostly saddened, by its contents. 

Our we not a modern civilized democratic society that believes in the rule of law and Constitution, that has come to the realization through science that all humanity is closely related, and every human being should be treated with compassion and respect; even if it means incarcerating some for the good of society. Modern democratic society should not be governed by culture, skin color, religious affiliation or military power. Nor should America turn into an authoritarian empire with vassal states, using its military might for expansionist dreams or to impose its will on other nations. 

Below are the verbatim contents of this letter and I hereby totally denounce and reject and find totally unacceptable any and every statement or view expressed in this vile correspondence. The Letter:

President Donald J. Trump
The White House
Washington DC 00001
April 1, 2026

Tim ‘ido Sheep III
The Village of MAGA West
Accessible off of Trump Way

Dear Glorious Supreme Leader,

I am an 86 year MAGA Warrior from The Villages, Florida, a Trump stronghold with a Mar-a-Largo Country Club-type feel only multiplied by (depends on Developer’s expansion plans ). I attend all MAGA events including the golf cart rallies, with my Trump flags proudly waving. However, lately my MAGA friends and I, when imbibing at our favorite Country Club, have been discussing your being hampered in your massive ICE deportation initiative in Minnesota and the abandonment of our allies in your brilliant plan to eliminate the Iranian Muslim problem once and for all. Well I have a few suggestions that may help you in your pursuit of glory, making a name for yourself, and of course MAGA.
First, you should have started the ICE swipes in a MAGA stronghold and may I suggest The Villages, Florida. We true MAGA Trump supporters who retired here have been subject to rampant crime, with murderers, rapists, mentally deranged drifters and other undesirables invading our community. These inhuman scumbag aliens enter our community at will to prey upon the vulnerable MAGA faithful retirees seeking the Great America life of old. 
We have gates around our community but there are few manned ones and then only symbolically. We need to secure our borders just as securely as those at Mar-a-Largo. ICE could man our gates and prevent any undesirables, you know the ones not like us, from entering; harassing, arresting and/or deporting all illegals and  undesirables. These vile scumbags need to be rounded-up in the most brutal and humiliating way to set an example for others to see. 
Instead of protests, as in Minnesota, there would be cheering crowds in the background, many ready to assist with their conceal carry peacemakers. One MAGA comrade of mine suggested that you have Gregory Bovino quietly retire in our great community and he can coordinate this effort from behind the scenes. And, if needed, you can count on all the MAGA faithful here to rise up and become your vigilant enforcers; just shout “Fight Fight Fight” our way and we will do your bidding, provided we get the J6er’s pardon treatment.
Please start here to Make America Great Again. I am sure The Villages  developer would be on board with ICE invading our community. Like you, the developer has great business prowess and a willingness to use all the tools at its disposal to obtain its Billions, including pressuring government for its profit and strategically filing for bankruptcy. We would rename the Eisenhower rec center to the Trump Center and erect a glorious 50 ft. gold statute in your honor, with your fist proudly raised and inscribed below “Fight Fight Fight”, right next to the current military memorial. Also, all water towers should be painted gold with the words Trump’s MAGA Country on them.
The second suggestion I have for you is to quickly declare victory in your war with Iran and start to bring the military troops, planes and ships home. However, as you are doing this you surprise the world and launch a massive strike on the Persian gulf. You destroy all of Irans vital infrastructure like electrical plants, desalination plants, bridges, dams and other necessary essentials for Iranians to live. But here is the kicker, you do the same thing to all the gulf states, including Saudi Arabia. Pay back for 9/11 will be so sweet. And in the chaos we evacuate all American personnel in the region, unfortunately some of these souls maybe lost but true patriotic Americans should be willing to die for MAGA and your glorious vision of how the world should be. 
This would eliminate the Muslim problem in one shoot. Thank God you are our renowned and illustrious leader; using your MAGA faithful, through their loyal and financial support, to seek your glory and the fulfillment of your destiny for the betterment of America. MAGA.
With highest honor and regard your faithful MAGA servant,

Tim ‘ido Sheep III

Carl Casale is a resident of the Village of Pine Hills.