I thought that perhaps this time, I would meander around a little with no particular thought in mind.
For example, I noted a headline that said “Elderly couple in Villages Escapes” – well I forget exactly from what they escaped. It is good that they did, which I will not deny. The question in my mind is what is an “Elderly Couple” in The Villages? I mean would not our kids and grandkids think that most of the people in The Villages fall into that category. It would seem to me that it would be really an eye catching headline if it said “Young Couple in The Villages Escapes” – from whatever.
Now that would be different! Perhaps, I am just a confused elderly guy, and there is a formula out there which says when people in The Villages become elderly. If so, I would like someone to explain it to me. I realize it might be difficult to explain because if they exist there are probably two formulas – one for men and one for women. Whoever possesses the exotic formula(s) can send it to me in a plain paper wrapping, and I agree to keep it a secret – more or less.
To go on my way, let us now look at the common window blind – which aren’t as common as they used to be. Even if some of us are not elderly, most of us do have memories that stretch back some years. When I was young, blinds were some kind of a heavy paper thing that was on a roller. At the bottom, there was a cord that had a round loop that you yanked on to let it down all the way to block out the sun or perhaps the neighbors.
Naturally, one had to be careful not to let go of it when you yanked down, or it might zoom back up, spin around the roller and create a mess to get it straightened out – which you had to do before your mother saw it. Today, you have all kinds of blinds. Most of them open and close in different ways and take much longer to do either than the above mentioned blind. They do regulate the sun – and the neighbors. They just do it in a more inconvenient and expensive way.
OK, so they give more “flair” to the windows. I am quite aware that The Blond in the house and most members of the distaff side would not return to the old blind that simply did its job without fuss or glamor. However, when you think about it, it may explain why elderly people have trouble escaping – they can’t get the darn blind out of the way so they can escape out the window when the door is blocked. I bet even young people have trouble eloping these days because by the time they get the big heavy blind up (or sideways) the father is there with the shotgun.
I will mention one other matter, and it is a sad one. I think we should also have a moment of silence for the encyclopedia salespersons. (They may have been called salesmen back in the day, but one has to keep political correctness in mind at all times). In any case, they apparently have vanished from the face of this planet. It just seemed to happen suddenly. There were no cries to save a species from extinction, nor is there any organized search for their remains. Perhaps some still exist in some bush country where they will be stumbled upon by a National Geographic team.
When the team finds them, I bet they will all be elderly and live in huts with blinds that pull down!
Barry Evans is a Villager.