75.5 F
The Villages
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
75.5 F
The Villages

Top Story

Frustrated Villagers want answers about COVID-19 testing site at the polo fields

Consternation boiled over this week as exasperated Villagers sought answers about the UF Health Coronavirus drive-through testing site at the polo fields.

Letters

Your dog is your responsibility

A Village of Bonnybrook resident urges her fellow Villagers to take responsibility for the dogs.

Amenity fees and the right thing to do

In a Letter to the Editor, a Village of Fernandina resident offers an idea about what should be done about the collection of amenity fees.

Around Florida

DeSantis vows fixes to online system overwhelmed by unemployment claims

Gov. Ron DeSantis has announced plans to rapidly repair the online system Floridians are using to file for unemployment benefits during the COVID-19 crisis.

Obituaries

Richard B. Dodge

As the City of St. Petersburg (FL) administrator, Rick Dodge led the efforts to attract the Salvador Dali Museum, a major league baseball park, and win an expansion franchise, the Tampa Bay Rays.

Health

Singer-songwriter David Olney died onstage of heart attack

The death of singer-songwriter David Olney, who suffered a heart attack and died while performing onstage, reminds us of the value of knowing CPR. Dr. Gabe Mirkin offers his thoughts.

Business

Wal-Mart limiting number of customers inside stores amid COVID-19 outbreak

A major chain store with locations in and around The Villages has made a sweeping change that will impact customers amid the Coronavirus outbreak.

Beer and soda drinkers have no respect for Obama

John Shewchuk

In 2009, in a valiant effort to save the world from ourselves, the Obama administration declared carbon dioxide (CO2) a dangerous pollutant. Incredible. Who’d ever thought plant food was a pollutant.  No doubt pictures of evil plants will soon be appearing on your local post office’s most wanted list.

But back to our salvation.  Following that EPA declaration of war against CO2, and in direct defiance of the Obama administration, the US population went on a drinking binge.  Sales of both beer and soda soared after that sobering ruling. 

But how are beer and soda sales impeding the war on CO2 you ask?  It’s a result of that very familiar, “pop-fizz” sound.  It’s CO2 escaping into the atmosphere.  OMG … how can that be?

Much of that CO2 which is being scrubbed from industrial emissions, are being secretly piped into our beer and soda cans.  This is done by legions of evil industries working deep inside unmarked buildings.  While chanting sinister spells, they use high pressure and very cold temperatures to force this satanic CO2 gas into our beer and soda.  This demonic process is called carbonization.  It’s a conveniently covert way to store a pollutant — and apparently unknown to our government. 

As the CO2 mixes with the soda and beer, it creates carbonic acid.  This “acid” gives your drink that tingly, and slightly stinging sensation, as the carbonic acid wakes up your taste buds.  As an opened container of soda or beer warms, the evil CO2 gas escapes into the air while the carbonic acid levels decrease — and the soda and beer go flat.  So while you exhale CO2 with each breath, and release CO2 with each opened beer and soda (and sparkling water, seltzer, etc.), don’t let the government see you, as you may be arrested for polluting the air. 

One more thing.  As you’re being hauled off to prison for exhaling that wicked CO2 pollutant and drinking those sinful carbonated beverages, your plants will anxiously await your return.  They love you, especially when you talk to them up close. They love your CO2 saturated breath — it’s the food of life for them.

And another thing. Acids and alcohol kill viruses. 

John Shewchuk is resident of the Village of Calumet Grove.

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Latest Posts

Richard B. Dodge

As the City of St. Petersburg (FL) administrator, Rick Dodge led the efforts to attract the Salvador Dali Museum, a major league baseball park, and win an expansion franchise, the Tampa Bay Rays.

Frustrated Villagers want answers about COVID-19 testing site at the polo fields

Consternation boiled over this week as exasperated Villagers sought answers about the UF Health Coronavirus drive-through testing site at the polo fields.

Fenney food truck to re-open weeks after numerous violations

A food truck is returning to serve residents of the Village of Fenney after an inspection last month turned up several health code violations.

No tee times after 4 p.m. at any golf course in The Villages

Starting Wednesday, April 8, all Championship and Executive Golf Courses will close at 4 p.m. following the last tee time.

More Headlines

Fenney food truck to re-open weeks after numerous violations

A food truck is returning to serve residents of the Village of Fenney after an inspection last month turned up several health code violations.

No tee times after 4 p.m. at any golf course in The Villages

Starting Wednesday, April 8, all Championship and Executive Golf Courses will close at 4 p.m. following the last tee time.

Photos

Opinions

Dr. Trump hawks outlandish ideas

Villager Miles Zaremski, writing in an Op-Ed, says Dr. Trump is hawking some outlandish ideas and what hangs in the balance is only our lives.

Crime

Wildwood police seeking help in locating stolen older-model Chevy pickup

Wildwood police officers are searching for a pickup truck that was stolen in the city recently.

Belleview man popped on multiple drug charges after ramming deputy’s patrol vehicle

A Belleview man was arrested Monday night after fleeing from Marion County sheriff’s deputies and then ramming into a patrol vehicle.