83.8 F
The Villages
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
Wednesday, April 8, 2020
83.8 F
The Villages

Top Story

Frustrated Villagers want answers about COVID-19 testing site at the polo fields

Consternation boiled over this week as exasperated Villagers sought answers about the UF Health Coronavirus drive-through testing site at the polo fields.

Letters

Bicyclists should stay to the right

In a Letter to the Editor, a Village of Fenney resident offers his ideas on bicyclists and safety.

I didn’t bargain for loss of community feel in The Villages

A Village of Belvedere defends points made - and roundly criticized - in a Letter to the Editor earlier this week.

Around Florida

DeSantis vows fixes to online system overwhelmed by unemployment claims

Gov. Ron DeSantis has announced plans to rapidly repair the online system Floridians are using to file for unemployment benefits during the COVID-19 crisis.

Obituaries

Richard B. Dodge

As the City of St. Petersburg (FL) administrator, Rick Dodge led the efforts to attract the Salvador Dali Museum, a major league baseball park, and win an expansion franchise, the Tampa Bay Rays.

Health

Singer-songwriter David Olney died onstage of heart attack

The death of singer-songwriter David Olney, who suffered a heart attack and died while performing onstage, reminds us of the value of knowing CPR. Dr. Gabe Mirkin offers his thoughts.

Business

Wal-Mart limiting number of customers inside stores amid COVID-19 outbreak

A major chain store with locations in and around The Villages has made a sweeping change that will impact customers amid the Coronavirus outbreak.

They are in for a big shock

Barry Evans
Barry Evans

In a world far away, there are citizens of Moolem which is a planet revolving around a star whose name that I can’t spell.  Actually, there lots of stars whose names I can’t spell.  Some planets too! The important thing is it is in a star system which is relatively close to us. The folks of Moolem are very bright, live a couple of hundred years, have no wars, and everybody pretty much gets along – except for the Slobians, but nobody pays any attention to them. The Moolems have very sophisticated telescopes (which they call “hey look’s). With a hey look, they can see just about anything that happens on earth – including what some of you were doing last Saturday night.

As I mentioned they live a long time and since everybody gets along, they spend a good deal of time watching us. They even wondered with what team Tom Brady was going to end up. Most of them are Steeler fans though so they weren’t too concerned about Brady’s final destination, but it was something to talk about.  They love football even though they don’t play it, since all Moolems are very tall and thin.  In any case, about forty years ago a group thought it might be fun to come and visit Earth.  Then they could watch the Steelers play close up and personal. So, they went to their government and asked about the possibility of the government building a space ship for them.

Now even though they are smarter than us, they were still dealing with a government, and governments as you are aware do not move very fast.  However, after a couple of decades, they were able to convince their legislature to appropriate the needed funds.  A few years later after surviving a High Person’s (President) veto, and having the Supremes rule in their favor they were ready to go. They had the money, but then realized that no one had any experience in building a space ship.  As explained, they were smart and one of them recalled explanations of warp drive on episodes of Star Trek.  They found those episodes and before too many years had passed, they had a ship. 

Unfortunately, Moolem has a heavier gravity than Earth so they found they could only take half of the people who signed up.  That ticked off those who were cut and the Moolem years of everyone getting along was threatened.  Again, their natural smartness kicked in so they just built another ship.  That only delayed the voyage by five more years, but then Moolems are long lived.  When it was announced that the ships were ready there was great rejoicing on the planet. There were parades, celebrations, speeches by the High Person who had forgotten his veto, and general happiness.  By the time the rejoicing had ended only a couple of more years had passed.  Now, even though the Moolems are long lived some of them were starting to feel their age.  Thus, they determined that all the passengers and crew (only takes one guy to fly their ship). should be put in “statist” so that they would not age during the trip.  They didn’t know how to do that either, but everybody, even the government, worked around the clock, and it was only one more year before all the space travelers were in a deep sleep and on their way their way to Earth in the good ships, The Warper and The Kirk.

They left about twenty years ago in our time.  Since they were in a deep sleep, most of them dreamed about Steeler games, except for a few who thought perhaps as they were very tall, they might be able to get a scholarship on the Kentucky basketball team and then play in the NBA. They are now approaching Earth, and everyone has started to wake up.  After twenty years of not knowing what has been going on, they are eager to land.

Regrettably, they are in for a big shock. Right now, we are not even letting anyone from another country into ours. Obviously, there is definitely no way, folks from another planet are going to make it!

Barry Evans writes about “Life in The Villages” for Villages-News.com.

LIVE: Coronavirus Updates

Latest Posts

Bicyclists should stay to the right

In a Letter to the Editor, a Village of Fenney resident offers his ideas on bicyclists and safety.

I didn’t bargain for loss of community feel in The Villages

A Village of Belvedere defends points made - and roundly criticized - in a Letter to the Editor earlier this week.

Joe Diffie and many other musicians have died from COVID-19

Dr. Gabe Mirkin looks at the death of country performer Joe Diffie from COVID-19 and attempts to determine if musicians are somehow more at risk of the Coronavirus.

Richard B. Dodge

As the City of St. Petersburg (FL) administrator, Rick Dodge led the efforts to attract the Salvador Dali Museum, a major league baseball park, and win an expansion franchise, the Tampa Bay Rays.

More Headlines

Fenney food truck to re-open weeks after numerous violations

A food truck is returning to serve residents of the Village of Fenney after an inspection last month turned up several health code violations.

No tee times after 4 p.m. at any golf course in The Villages

Starting Wednesday, April 8, all Championship and Executive Golf Courses will close at 4 p.m. following the last tee time.

Photos

Opinions

Joe Diffie and many other musicians have died from COVID-19

Dr. Gabe Mirkin looks at the death of country performer Joe Diffie from COVID-19 and attempts to determine if musicians are somehow more at risk of the Coronavirus.

Crime

Wildwood police seeking help in locating stolen older-model Chevy pickup

Wildwood police officers are searching for a pickup truck that was stolen in the city recently.

Belleview man popped on multiple drug charges after ramming deputy’s patrol vehicle

A Belleview man was arrested Monday night after fleeing from Marion County sheriff’s deputies and then ramming into a patrol vehicle.