The Blonde in the House and I have been married for umpteen years – OK, perhaps even longer than that. However, due to that we often get asked if we have any differences. The answer is that of course we do. Some of them are pretty serious. For example, there is peanut butter. She likes smooth while I like crunchy – the crunchier the better. Thus, we have to have two jars sitting around rather than just one taking up valuable space in our limited storage. However, it is necessary that we have both in order to stir the product in our oatmeal. We agree that peanut butter should not be stirred in Cream of Wheat as neither of us can stand it anymore. I liked it as a kid, but I liked Ralston even better. I used to listen to one of my favorite radio serials back when which involved Tom Mix and his Ralston Straight Shooters! I liked old Tom as he was an actual cowboy unlike the dandies who came later. Tom would never have been caught dead in some of the shirts that Gene and Roy wore.
Then there is the matter of temperature in our living space. I understand that this one is a common problem even with those who have ben married for a short time let alone umpteen years plus. I prefer a nice reasonable temperature that does not cause sweat running down my eyes as I try to read the paper. She prefers a household temperature about 10 degrees higher. If it is set at my temperature, I look over and The Blonde has on her winter jacket which has lots of down in it. If I ask, it quickly becomes obvious that she is freezing to death, and I should take corrective action. I check to make certain that I have handkerchiefs in my pocket to wipe that sweat away and raise the temperature – luckily the thermostat is next to my chair so I can surreptitiously lower the setting one degree at a time until I notice that she is looking for her coat. After umpteen years plus, one becomes good at being surreptitious.
Those of you with good memories will recall that movie theaters used to be open every day. There was a good selection which was a good thing. The reason it was especially good for us is that The Blonde loves Hallmark type movies. A good cry is good for the soul it seems. I prefer sci-fi or a good action show. Back when they had movies at the theater, I would be reminded that when we were dating, I used to go to all kinds of movies she liked. I reply that was when the movies had plots not based on how close to porn they could get or how many vehicles could be wrecked in a ten-minute period. We solved the problem by carefully looking at the movie times. We usually were able to find a movie she liked and one that I liked that had close starting times. Then, we would go to the theater, go in and watch our respective movies and meet in the lobby afterwards.
Obviously, right now this is not a problem. However, there are rumors out there that someday movie theaters may open again with all sorts of movies. Of course, most of them will be pretty awful, but at least they will be there. I just hope that there are two that have close starting times that we like!
There are some other differences, but they are pretty minor compared to the above. When you have been married for umpteen plus years, you can usually work out all sorts of issues. Now just in case someone gets confused by the above, it should be noted that I do not provide marriage counseling to those who do not have a large number of married years. Besides, if I did, I would charge too much. Clearly, I would have to somehow cover the coming increase in movie tickets!
Villager Barry Evans is a columnist for Villages-News.com