Have you ever heard the notion “Pay it Forward?” It’s the beautiful idea of responding to someone’s act of kindness by doing something randomly thoughtful for someone else.
The theory is that you do not hoard kindness for yourself or confine it only to a small circle of people as you “pay them back.” Instead, you spread the goodwill to affect as many people as possible. The concept of pay it forward goes back as far as ancient Greece. Still, the particular phrase wasn’t coined until 1916 when Lily Hardy Hammond wrote about it in her book “In the Garden of Delight.”
However, the whole movement didn’t come about until just the end of 1999. After Catherine Ryan Hyde’s novel “Pay It Forward” was released, followed by the motion picture in 2000, mass amounts of people began to adopt this practice.
I have seen it in action many times in my life, especially working in the service industry. In fact, I was the “middle man” in several of these transactions, so I got to feel the warm fuzzies too. Believe it or not, most people are uncomfortable on both sides. The “giver” prefers to be anonymous, and the “receiver” feels unworthy.
Either way, the best thing to do, of course, would be to simply say, “thank you.” When at all possible. Or, just pay it forward. As for the person who got that ball rolling – you don’t have to let them know who you are, but think of all the friends you could make if you did!
When I worked at Billy’s Cafe, I had customers buy total strangers’ meals all the time. A gentleman came in every now and again: he was an older man who wore a World War II cap. Religiously, I can honestly say I never took money from that man’s wallet. Every single time he came in to dine, at least one other table asked to pay his bill.
Recently, my husband Joey and I got to be the recipients of a glorified “Golden Ticket!” I have had the pleasure of being out alone with my grandson Jeremy, and the waitress told me at the end of our meal that my check was already taken care of. So, I got to experience how fantastic it actually feels to be paid forward.
Jeremy is also well aware of how nice it feels when a total stranger pays for our meals. As he puts it, grandma says, “I only have enough cash to pay for dinner,” way too often these days, so he knows how much it means to have that extra cash for other things.
Over the years, Joe and I have always tried to help anyone in need. When our daughters were young, Joe was known for buying lunch and bringing snacks for the kids at the elementary school. Yet, he said he has never had anyone ever pick up his tab.
So, you can only imagine how delighted the DeMarcos were after someone recently picked up our date night check at the nearby Cracker Barrel!
For starters, I was really craving the Japanese cuisine, which Jeremy enjoys too. He not only loves the Hibachi show, but he also likes to show off when he eats his noodles and rice with chopsticks. But, Cracker Barrel restaurants have a store that sells candy and toys. Plus, they have the nifty little rocking chairs and checkerboards to play with outside.
Obviously, we ended up not eating Sushi. Yet, in an off way, I guess we weren’t supposed to. If we had, we wouldn’t have gotten a free meal, nor would Jeremy have been able to con us into spending the unused money on him. Which we did, right after we fattened our lovely waitress’ pocket with her percentage of the kind gesture.
Not to mention, after 40-years in the hospitality business, my hubby finally got to experience the overwhelming glow that comes with finding out someone just paid your way.
My suggestion, it pays to get involved.
Laugh on. Peace out!
Lisa DeMarco is a columnist for Villages-News.com.