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The Villages
Friday, June 17, 2022

Marking our anniversary

Barry Evans
Barry Evans

We just had an anniversary of our marriage.  Agreed, it is not that unusual.  There is a lot of that going around, although not as much as there used to be.  The newer generations seem to think that they are not necessarily something which should be celebrated. It will be interesting to see what they think when they get older.  However, that is up to them.  I just go with the flow as who am I to stand in the way of the advance of civilization – even if it does seem to be going in the wrong direction.  I say this while admitting that all generations have said that for centuries about the generation which follows them.

If you go back enough generations things were pretty simple.  A guy would grab a woman by the hair and say, “Do you want to live together in one of the caves in the side of the big hill, or would you prefer to live down in the valley where you can build us a nice lean-to out of the young spruce trees.”?  Once that was determined they went about their life and not once was the husband reminded that their anniversary would be arriving. No celebration at all.  Oh, sometimes they would go to the other side of the hill and steal a good meal from the folks there.

Nope, several thousand years passed without one single wedding anniversary.  However, civilization does move on, and one day someone determined that perhaps people should get married, if they are going to live together. Now which civilization that was and when nobody is exactly certain.  Oh, there are guesses, but the fact is that not even National Geographic knows. We have a friend who up to a couple of years ago had every issue of National Geographic that was printed. He admitted that he had never seen a single story about a discovery that proved when the first marriage was performed – not even in deepest Africa.  (Of course, that could be because that is where the Phantom lives, and he keeps people out of there).

So here we sit, in 2022 and nobody knows why wedding anniversaries were started.  Many feel that it was started by a woman who said, “Listen here, Buster, I am not going anywhere with you without a ring and a minister”.  Since this was back many centuries ago, the guy said “What is a minister and what kind of a ring are we talking about”?  She replied that it was his problem to solve.  So, the guy set off on a journey to find a minister and a ring.  He traveled everywhere until on the outskirts of deepest Africa he found someone who claimed he was a minister. He forced the guy to come with him figuring he could find a ring on the way back.  Unfortunately, he had been gone for twenty years and his love had run off with an Arabian rug dealer by the time he got back.  He told the minister to go back to Africa and he became a hermit.  A sad story, but eventually a marriage did occur somewhere, and when National Geographic finds out where, it will make a great story.

Luckily, this is now 2022 and there are many marriages which have led to anniversaries.  In fact, I am a living example of such an occurrence which while it did not occur hundreds of years ago, it has been quite a few years. I wouldn’t have missed it for the world!  The Blonde in the house says that she agrees!

Barry Evans is a columnist for Villages-News.com.

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