I am writing this several days into January, which means that most folks have already forgotten or ignored their New Year’s resolutions. You know the type “I will lose 20 pounds by June 1.” “When spring comes, I will paint the house,” and so forth.
Those who claim that their resolutions are still strong most likely have their fingers crossed behind their backs. It’s human nature for most people to find reasons not to fulfill their faithfully stated New Year’s resolutions – which many acknowledge they should not have made in the first place.
However, the above are generally nice people but what about the bad guys and the resolutions they make? For example, does Hacker Duke say that he will make up three new scams in 2026 which will set him up for life? How about Two Gun Dilley who resolves to find three isolated banks and rob them in 2026? Do you think these sneaky people will work on their resolutions? Darn right they will! Dilley, however, should be aware of Lefty Nowery who made a similar resolution in 2025. He was not able to keep his resolution due to bad planning. For his first job, he found a bank with loads of cash in a small town with about three policemen but with only one on duty. He was not aware that a block away was a police firing range and the day he chose to rob the bank police from a wide area were coming to participate in a competitive shootout. Thus, just as Lefty and his gang came out of the bank a bunch of police cars were coming up the street. They panicked and surrendered to the surprised police. I guess even bad guys can’t always keep their resolutions.
Now as far as I am concerned, I have a yearly resolution that I try earnestly to keep. That involves knowing how to fold towels that will suit The Blonde in The House. I have tried all sorts of folds including some that I thought were pretty spectacular. No matter what I come up with, she just shakes her pretty head and folds them properly. The fact is now I am forbidden to fold towels. I am permitted to fold other laundry though. For example, socks! I had some difficulty with that since in my bachelor days, I just threw them in a big clump in my drawer. In the morning, I would find a couple that looked like they fitted together. Apparently, that was not the proper system. It was required that they match exactly. I was doing well there until some sick soul gave me some of those socks that have a R on one foot and a L on the other. Trying to find the ones that went together was trying. Then one day I recalled that girls and later women when we were dancing said that I had two left feet. I decided that if I have two left feet, it does not matter about the socks. Life has been good in that area since.
Lastly, that leaves you folks who are reading this. I could use your help even if you haven’t kept your own resolutions. That’s especially if there is a compassionate gentleman out there who could send me a diagram on how to fold towels. It would have to be big and not like the tiny ones you get with assemble instructions from Amazon. OK, diagrams from anybody compassionate or not would be acceptable! Then, perhaps in 2027, I can come up with a new resolution – possibly even one that I can keep. It’s worth a try.
Barry Evans is a columnist for Villages-News.com.