By Barry Evans
I should have thought of this when it was Halloween, but all the shows about zombies, werewolves, vampires. witches etc. made me think. It seems to me that a good movie or TV producer should consider a film for next Halloween entitled, The Kingdom of Dogs. The place to film it naturally would be The Villages.
All one has to do is look around and it is apparent that dogs are taking over. It is not just in this country. For example a zoo in China traded their lion for a dog. They were hoping that no one would notice, and some say it was done because it is cheaper to feed a dog. (No, I do not know what the dog owner did with the lion). Despite the above speculation, the fact is that the Chinese know that dogs are taking over.
Sure cats like to think they rule, but they are inside and can’t get together to plot like dogs. You can see dogs training for the takeover, but people just don’t notice. They just say “oh, aren’t they cute! I will give you an example. When we lived in the Northern part of The Villages, we had neighbors across the street who had dogs. At times three dogs, but now limited to Bingo and Lulu. When they were loose, everyone panicked. They knew that their ankles were in jeopardy and that they would soon suffer the agony of the “slobber syndrome”.
Now you add this bit of innocence to what is occurring now that we live in the Southern part of The Villages. That is, we have two Great Danes passing by who are leading their mistresses – although the ladies think they are directing the path. These dogs are very friendly and they want you to pet them. When you do, they “lean” on you. Now these dogs are bigger than The Blonde in the house – and weigh more, so you have to lean back.
Just imagine that you are leaning back and you get your ankles attacked by the Slobber Squad led by Lulu! At the least you will be in a very uncomfortable position.
However, this is just the beginning. As I said, like in any horror film the dogs are just getting organized. Before you know it though, you will find the little dogs are doing the leaning and the big dogs become the slobber squad, but at a much higher level.
Then, the middle sized dogs, who have been working behind the scenes, will show up with the dog demands in their teeth. They will not be easy ones. For example, all cars will have to be built without glass in the windows so that the dog in charge will be able to put his/her head out which ever window he/she desires. Imagine what this will do to women’s hairdos, and men’s wallets. It can get pretty horrifying. There will be other equally harsh demands that space does not permit enumerating.
You may scoff and say the above are just the ranting’s of a an addled soul, but you cannot avoid the fact that such a film is a prediction of things to come, The Planet of the Apes will pale before this. Dogs are much more numerous and treachery can easily be hidden behind the soulful eyes and wagging tail. There is an old song that goes “Oh, you can bring Grace for the porterhouse steak, or you can bring Rose with the turned up nose – but don’t bring Lulu.”. You gotta watch Lulu! She is a ring leader. Slobber Squad now, who knows what tomorrow!
In the meantime have a Happy New Year!
Barry Evans is a Villager.