I have been receiving questions as to why I have not reported on that patriotic organization, the defender of mankind – Husbands United (a secret society). The basic reason is that there have not been any sunset confirmations on cases of great merit. Oh, there have been a few run of the mill cases that have been completed to the approval of the womankind statute of limitations, but nothing worth mentioning.
What is worth mentioning is an exciting step that is being taken by all the Husband United clubs in the U.S. and Canada. (Sorry, I can’t tell you how many clubs there are or in what cities they are located.) The point is that the clubs have pooled their resources to give a grant to the W.R. Co., Inc., LLC and Other Abbreviations. The W.R. Co. has employed the cream of the last two generations of technical geniuses who are working on a project that will be one of the greatest boons to mankind that has ever occurred.
To give a little background to their research and accomplishments, let me give some explanation. I hate to say this, particularly since it does not apply to me, but most of mankind is completely oblivious in not realizing that they are ready to take a step into deep water when dealing with womankind. Husbands are just rolling along fat, dumb and happy when they suddenly dimly realize that something is wrong. This normally occurs about the second night of cold oatmeal and runny grits for supper.
Then, they have to figure out what is wrong and how to fix it. It is one of the reasons that there are so many meeting of Husbands United (a secret organization). They can’t figure it out, so they have to ask the help of us more attuned husbands. Thus, the Husband United Clubs have determined that if science could help husbands, then meetings could be cut from once a week or more to perhaps every two or three weeks – or even less.
The W. R. Co. is so high tech that Google, Apple, or Microsoft would appear to be like Atari when compared to them. What they are working on is a robot that will be programed to understand completely the sensitivities of womankind. The robot is being constructed in the shape of a small dog which will follow the husband around. Now the robot has general womankind sensitivities built into him, but what is even more amazing is that after a short period of time, the robot will understand the particular sensitivities of the member of womankind that is involved.
Now when a husband if about to step into unchartered grounds, the robot will holler. “Danger Will Robinson, Danger.” Yes, I know that is what the robot hollered in the old Lost in Space TV series of many years ago, but it was and is effective. Besides the robot is a Will Robinson model, and what do you think “W.R.” stands for in the company name? To rest your minds a little, the robot will be programed to shout the name of the husband owner. It will then say “Danger, Barry Evans Danger” or whatever the name will really be – since as The Blond in the house knows that my perception of womankind’s sensitivities is so high that I will not need a robot myself.
I will have to admit that some husbands are so oblivious that they still may not pay attention. In recognition of this if the robot observes no appropriate response, it will bite the husband in the ankle. This should do the trick. I will also mention that this robot works only for husbands. Members of mankind who are bachelors have problems too, but the sensitivities they are dealing with have some significant differences. The W.R. Co. is working on a model for them, but it will probably be available six months or so after the husband model. That is alright as far as Husbands United cares as bachelors should get their own club if they have problems.
Remember, you heard about this scientific breakthrough right here!
Barry Evans writes about “Life in The Villages” for Villages-News.com