I was doing some thinking the other day since I have had a lot of time to do that recently. One thing that I decided was that I was glad that I did not grow up to be a bad guy. It is true that where and when I grew up, it did not make much sense to be a bad guy. If you stole something from someone else, it most likely wasn’t going to be better than what you already had as everybody in our area was in the lower economic strata. However, early on I determined that I was going to be like my comic book heroes and trod the straight and narrow.
What made me think about not being a bad guy relates to the fact that I have been spending a good deal of time in the house as my messed up knee would not let me play, golf, drive, walk the neighborhood etc. Now, I can drive and my leg no longer pains like heck, but I still can’t play golf or any other strenuous exercises. Thus, I cannot contemplate how bad guys (and girls) who are in the clink can avoid going crazy. Sitting at home viewing bad television and thinking I should be out drives me bananas. Sure, I can read, but after several novels, it gets old.
I suspect that I could have spent time writing the great American novel, or at least write better columns. However, neither seemed doable when your leg hurts all the time. Besides the Great American novel has been written several times – there is just debate about which one it is. Personally, I prefer the first Superman series, but I find myself in the minority in supporting that. I even thought of moving to Lichtenstein and writing the Great Lichtenstein novel. I figured that there might be less competition there. However, sources inform me that novel has also been completed.
A friend suggested that I cruise to one of the small Pacific islands on the basis that their great novel has not yet been written. However, with my luck they would probably speak French or Dutch on the island, and they would not be able to read what I wrote – no matter how tremendous it was. Besides, you will note that the friend suggested that I “cruise” to an island. Now being on a cruise ship for lord knows how long just to get to a small island in the Pacific would be worse than being stuck in the house. At least at home, I can look outside and see something besides water. Heck, just the other day, I could see a possum attacking a garbage bag that a neighbor had left out. On a good day on the ocean, you might see a whale trying to batter the cruise ship because he thinks that Captain Ahab is on board. Besides, with my luck he would probably be on the other side of the ship where I could not see him/her. (There is controversy you know about whether the white whale was a male or female. I guess only the whales know for certain).
Things are beginning to look up, I will admit.The Blonde in the house and I will be heading down to Winter Park for Grandparents Day at our granddaughter’s school. That should be fun. I may even get classified as a bad guy though. To get to our granddaughter’s classroom, you have to walk up flights of stairs. Now, I can walk ok, but lifting the knee to go up a bunch of stairs is a slow process. I will probably be a roadblock (stair block) and folks will be fussing because they want to get to their granddaughter’s room, and they will not know that I have a bad knee and they will use words to describe me as a bad guy.
At least, there is no clink time for that kind of a bad guy. Is there?
Barry Evans writes about Life in The Villages for Villages-News.com
