To the Editor:
I am writing in honor of a dear friend and to all those who have NOT been a victim of cancer. Unless you have stood in our shoes as a cancer victim or have cared for, loved, or been loved by a cancer victim you cannot even begin to understand, feel, or experience what we have been through and continue to go through. Once we have been diagnosed our lives change and so do the lives of our loved ones. Its traumatic from the time the words leave the physicians mouth, through our sometimes torturous treatment, and in our thoughts. We struggle, as do our loved ones, to channel our thoughts to the positive aspects of our life. As current patients and the survivors we try our hardest to stay focused and put cancer behind us. We know our futures are uncertain.
Yes, everyone’s future is uncertain, but you do not have the past experiences to know how it may repeat itself, or have the odds stacked against you. With this I say, words hurt. We do not want to hear how someone “suffered till the end.” We do not want to hear who has cancer now. We do not want to know who just died of cancer. We do not want to know who’s cancer returned. We do not want to know who just died of cancer. We are reminded every few minutes by TV commercials, newspapers, and billboards we do not need our friends to keep us in that nightmare. We want to forget, even if its just a minute or two, of what we are experiencing or have experienced or what our future may hold.
We do not want to hear cancer horror stories. Although you may be trying to somehow be supportive in trying to share, it is insensitive and almost cruel. We DO need love, support, and positive outcome stories. We need quiet times and laughter. We need hugs and understanding for something, hopefully, you will never experience. We want to step out from under that dark shadow and into the sunshine for just a little while, please don’t drag us back there. If we want to talk about it, its our choice, we have unfortunately earned that right, be there to listen. Know that that person is no longer the same person they were going into this, we all come out a little different. To those of you who are family, just be there. To those of you fighting the fight, stay strong. To those of you who have already fought, look forward. To those of you who have lost, rest in God’s arms.
Lynn DiBiccari
Glendale
Fighting cancer is hard enough. But do we really need to hear horror stories?
