I have found in my life and in those of other husbands that compromises are a necessity of life. This is especially true when it involves a marriage as long as that of The Blonde in the House and I. First, let me explain that I can’t specifically tell you how many years that has been. It’s the Blonde’s fervent belief that if anyone knows how long you have been married that they will try to put two and two together and figure out how old you are. Then, depending on the age they determine to be real they will treat you accordingly. They could figure that you were so old that they should be bringing in your groceries for you. Frankly, I do not have any problem with that, but I guess the concept does not go over too well with some. However, I will admit that we have been married for some time!
What is amazing is that successful compromises are made in marriage even when the one side is completely wrong. Let me elucidate on a small example. When I retired from my exhausting work as a city manager, it was settled by compromise that there were some things that I could do that I had not done before. One of them was to fold the laundry after it dried. That was not a hard compromise especially since I was not normally given the job of loading and starting the dryer since I might forget the Bounty or similar product. That job was obviously easy and did not take me very long for a number of years.
Then, The Blonde read in some women’s magazine or somewhere that her blouses and sweaters should be turned inside out before being washed and dried.
Purportedly, this made the garments last longer. Once that change became part of the process then the folding took twice as long. I asked for a copy of the magazine article or some other scientific evidence that supported this claim. None was forthcoming, so I made my own. I asked every husband I met and they agreed there was no scientific evidence for this. One of them was a structural engineer and he allowed that such a comment was just an old wives tale. I told him that I knew that, but how do you effectively counter? He said that I hadn’t mentioned that it was an actual wife’s position. In those cases, scientific proof plays no part and I should just live with it. I do!
Now I am not trying to say that husbands always are the wrong side of a marriage compromise. I can think of at least one where I won – well sort of. This occurred a number of years ago when I was a young city manager and full of vim and vigor. We had purchased a house and it needed painted as I was informed a few times. Since we did not have the funds to hire a professional, I determined that I would do the painting. The Blonde felt that a nice clean white would be good. I felt that if I were going to be the painter that I should be more creative. I settled on a splendid blue with the gutters being a quaint yellow. It was Spring and the house looked great. Unfortunately, by the end of the Summer the blue had faded and had developed a whitish tinge. The yellow gutters looked worse. Thus, in early fall I repainted the house white. Let me mention that I have never said that winning a compromise means that all is fine and good.
In fact, I read a news story the other day which may prove that. There was this gentleman in his seventies who decided to rob a bank. He wanted to be arrested so that he could get away from his wife. (Perhaps he was tired of compromising).
In any case, he robbed the bank and was arrested. When the Judge heard the facts of the case, he threw the book at the poor guy. He had him placed under house arrest!
I wonder if his wife has the blouse turned inside out rule?
Columnist Barry Evans writes about “Life in The Villages.”
